Almost there!

I weighed myself today.

I closed my eyes. I've been bad. Horrible. Mini cupcakes? Had 5. Yesterday. Mm. (Chocolate with a mountain of frosting... delic-WAIT. BAD. NAUGHTY. no. so yum. but so BAD)

I get on the scale 3 times. The first always reads way off. Then I have to make sure time 2 and time 3 match.

And they did.

201.

My goal weight is 199 pounds. By Saturday.

Can I?

I think I can!!!!!

Shocker

When I ordered my wedding dress and tried it on, it didn't quite fit. It wouldn't zip shut. There was about a 2 1/2-3 inch gap.

I felt fat. Horrible. This is my WEDDING DRESS. I'm supposed to feel gorgeous!

I kicked up my moving around. And stayed on ourse with my portion control. I didn't splurge and get my "normals" if we went out to eat.

I had my alterations appointment on Tuesday. I dreaded the hour ride there.

"They're going to tell me Ihave to order a bigger size" That was going through my head all morning.

I hauled my dress, Emily, her car seat and her diaper bag into the store.

"Here is your room, put your dress on and let us know when you need help"

My stomach was in my throat. I couldn't look in the mirror.

"Ma'am, I can't zip it by myself. I don't think it is going to zip... It didn't 5 days ago."

She came in to my room. Looked at me & grabbed my dress and tried to fasten it.

I felt my face getting red.

She tugged a little bit. And closed it. Told me to put my hand on my side and hold them there.

And she zipped my dress up.

All the way.

Closed.

It fit.

CLOUD 9 ALL DAY!

Off?

Maybe my scale was a little off yesterday?

Maybe my sort of good food habits yesterday paid off? (less than 10 mini cupcakes! -- hey... anything less than double digits is progress for me!)

Down 2 more pounds!!!

Only 5 pounds until my wedding goal weight!

A little adds up to a lot

So I haven't really been doing ANYTHING to help this journey lately...

Wedding planning is down to the wire... 21 days... So life is full of stress and phone calls. When I get stressed, I eat CHOCOLATE. The tiny little cupcakes with piles and piles of sugary frosting on them. EVIL. Oh but they are so good. NO! Stay away from them!

I lost 4 ounces. An even 206.

I can be okay with that as long as I still get those cupcakes.

What a day.

It has been way too long since I've posted anything!

For a few reasons... Our internet has decided to revolt and not work at home... And we decided to move the wedding up... A year. So I've got until October to make it all come together and not go crazy. So far. So good.

Fast food became my friend again... I couldn't get below 211 and stopped weighing myself because it got too hard.

Until today.

I kept walking by the closet and it was like the scale kept yelling my name.

So I stepped on it. 206. I stepped off. Then back on. 206. Off. Back on one more time. 206.

Holy damn.

I've got to mail some wedding invites and we decided to hand deliver some... So I think I'm going walk and deliver them when possible.

**NEW GOAL**

199 pounds by the wedding... October 9th, 2010
SEVEN POUNDS TO GO!!

VICTORY!

I dropped a pants size!

YAY!

I made myself a vow...

I want to go wedding dress shopping...

But I'm not going to let myself until I'm under 199 pounds...

I'm getting closer...

Lots and lots of walking & portion control seems to be working good for right now...

212!

Minor setback

I know I shouldn't make excuses...

But my sister was back for a few days which meant 7 hours on the road to & from the airport to get her = evil fast food. Then a few days of lots of family cooking, my babyshower & the opening of our bar... I gained *gulp* 6 pounds.

Have no fear. I felt like a large steaming pile of fatty. Wait. I am.

I kicked my own ass and made myself get outside. I just wanted to keep eating the yummy junk that still lurks in my fridge.

Salads. Portion control. Not stopping moving for more than about 15 minutes. Walks with Emily, walks with the boys, walking around while I'm on the phone and not just plopping down and getting comfy. My legs are tired!

BUT.

I've lost 4 of those evil pounds. Since Monday. =)

Maybe I CAN do this!!!

It rained this morning but I have been itching at going for a walk. I have never been so excited for walks!

But first... A confidence booster... A new hair color... =)

Goals

-I want to be healthy for my children, I want to see them grow older and have families of their own. I want to be healthy for Curt, I want to grow old with him and live our lives to the fullest. I want to be healthy for me, I don't want to be a little old lady that can't move on her own and has to live off machines.

-I want to be able to run 5 miles.

-I want to be able to do 5k runs with my family.

-I don't want to huff, puff and struggle to breathe when I walk up stairs.

-I want to be able to run after my kids, and not sit on the park bench.

-I want to reach 175 pounds. (41 pounds away)

-I want to look amazing in my wedding dress.

-I don't want to be ashamed of the way I look.

-I don't just want to be skinnier. I want to be healthy. I want to be toned.




These are some of my goals. Follow me, as I dig deep and work hard to become the shrinkable me.

Laying it all out

In the past 5 1/2 years my weight has gone from a tiny 125 pounds, soaring well up over 200. Granted, I've had 3 kids and everytime I've gained no less than 50 pounds with each pregnancy. With my oldest being my highest weight gain (90 pounds) and my youngest being next in line (65 pounds) my body has been through A LOT.

Up until last year, I've never been happy with the way I look - even last year I was just starting to get comfortable in my own skin when I got pregnant.

I know I won't be able to look like I used to, nor do I want to.

I just don't want to look like I do now.